I miss him
Ever have one of those dreams that you can't seem to shake when you wake up? One of those that latched on to your emotions so hard, that you mourned the fact that the dream wasn't real?
I had one of those last night, and I can't stop thinking about him. Not the band - although that would be a right fucking awesome dream. Him - the man in my dream.
I don't know who he was. I never got a name. He looked like nobody I've met, his voice was unlike anyone I know, and he made me feel like I've never felt. It was short, and oh so sweet. I woke up missing him. I've been thinking about him all day.
Life is one cruel bitch. I found the perfect man in Sandland, and I'll probably never find that channel again. That's probably a good thing. Otherwise, I'd probably overdose on sleeping pills trying to spend every unwaking second with him. The man. Not the band.
Yesterday I had a long conversation with a relative of someone I dated. It was mostly a question answer session - somewhat uncomfortable, somewhat not. I promised to keep our convo a secret, so I won't say any more about it. Besides, it's not the convo that is important. The thing was, I got to thinking afterward about when the last time I had a phone conversation with a female was. Other than my mother (and one liners with The Girlchild and The Girlfriend), I have not had a telephone conversation with another female since 1999. That's seven freaking years for those of you who were in the LD math class. Seven years.
Most of the time I'm secure with my lack of intimate relationships, because they are usually more trouble than they are worth. But here, in less than 24 hours, I got a not so subtle reminder of what is missing in my life.
It bloody sucks, dammit.
Since I'm in a fuckitall mood, and especially moody in the relationship arena, here is one of those survey things from Myspace, completed with a heaping helping of who fucking gives a shit and just a hint of sour grapes.
THE UNCOMFORTABLE SURVEY (note: I don't see what could be so unfuckingcomfortable about it... it's not like they're asking if you spit or swallow)
1. Longest relationship:
2. Shortest relationship:
3. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have told you they love you?
4. Have you ever thought that you were going to marry the person you were dating?
5. Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurts?
6. Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry?:
7. Are you happier single or in a relationship?:
8. Have you ever been cheated on?
9. What is your favorite thing about the opposite sex?
10.Have you ever had your heart broken?
11. Have you ever broken someone's heart?
12. Talk to any of your exes?
13. If you could go back in time would you change things to where you could still be with one of your exes?
14. Think any of your ex's feel the same way?
15. Do you believe that you are a good boyfriend or girlfriend?
16. Have you dated people who were not good to you?
17. Have you dated someone older then you?
18. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
19. Believe in love at first sight?
20. Ever dated two people at once?
21. Do you want to get married?
22. Do you have something to say to any of your exes?
23. Ever stolen someone's boyfriend or girlfriend?
24. Ever liked someone else's boyfriend or girlfriend?
25. Does heartbreak really feel as bad as it sounds?
26. Are you looking for a boyfriend or girlfriend?
Any more stupid questions?
April 13, 2008 04:27 AM PDT
i think i'm in love
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