Mouth of Madness

 

Thursday, April 10, 2008

I heart the free credit report dot com guy


For your listening pleasure, a compilation of the free credit report dot com jingles, with lyrics:)  Don't be shy now... you know you want to sing along



Well I was shopping for a new car
Which one's me?
A cool convertible or an SUV
Too bad I didn't know my credit was whack
Cause now I'm driving off the lot in a used subcompact
F-R-E-E that spells free
Credit report dot com baby
Saw their ads on my TV
Thought about going but was too lazy
Now instead of lookin' fly and rollin' phat
My legs are sticking to the vinyl
And my posse's gettin' laughed at
F-R-E-E that spells free
Credit report dot com baby.


Well I married my dream girl
I married my dream girl
But she didn't tell me her credit was bad
So now instead of living in a pleasant suburb
We're living in the basement at her mom and dad's
No we can't get a loan
For a respectable home
Just because my girl defaulted on some old credit card
If we'd gone to free credit report dot com
I'd be a happy bachelor with a dog and a yard


They say a man should always dress for the job he wants
So why am I dressed up like a pirate in this restaurant?
It's all because some hacker stole my identity
Now I'm in here every evening serving chowder and iced tea
Shoulda gone to free credit report dot com (yee haw!)
I could have seen this coming at me like an atom bomb
They monitor your credit and send you email alerts
So you don't wind up selling fish to tourists in t-shirts

UPDATE:  If you're interested in finding out more about "free credit report guy" his name is Eric Violette, and here are some links:

Eric's youtube channel

Eric's homepage


Posted at 4/10/2008 5:47:01 pm by Rowan

Rowan
February 26, 2010   09:43 PM PST
 
@ Real - I lol'd. You are too funny.
Real
December 26, 2008   05:39 PM PST
 
Really? You love that tune? REALLY? I hate that tune. I hate it so much that it makes me comment on stupidass blogs to cunts like you. These "tunes" send me into a blind, murderous rage where women and children and nuns and leprechauns are not spared. I'm the Tazmanian devil, bitch, and I will suck you up into my whirlwind of death and fuck you up so badly that no one will recognize you. You will spend the rest of your life trying to convince your friends and family that you are who you say you are. All because of those stupid ass "tunes" that you love so much.


PS - Freecreditreport.com can suck a bag of dicks.
Kayla
April 17, 2008   05:21 PM PDT
 
OMG - I LOVE that tune!! It's freaking hilarious! It's whack when he should've been rollin PHAT!


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